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I've been toying with the concept for a little while now about words for love. In modern English we use 'love' generously and sometimes confusingly, covering everything from appreciation, commitment, to attraction and desire. How often do we hear someone say to us: "love you" and have to stop and parse what exactly they mean by that?
It's difficult, at least for me, not to confuse the intent behind someone's use of the word 'love,' and that's partly from my own attention-starved past and the results of decades of cultural confusing of the signals.
So I've started a little digging, linguistically, into other languages and how maybe we can adapt and grow our vocabulary. After all, English is notorious for not just borrowing words and phrases from other languages, but actively plundering other cultures for their syntactic sugar and spice.
This will likely be the first in a series of posts. I'll try to keep them all tagged together.
So first up: ancient Greek (with some Latin thrown in). Some of these have evolved some from their original use, so don’t blame me if that ancient Greek philosopher you’ve stolen in time doesn’t agree with these meanings:
Agape:’selfless love’ or a generalized love of all. The Latin word ‘caritas’ is where we get ‘charity’ from so this also implies empathy and humanitarian love of all.
Philia: Deep friendship or Comradeship for those with similar experiences.
Philautia: Love of self.
Storgé: Parental love of child.
Ludus: Love of fun or play. This is where we get the word ‘ludic’
Erotas: Physical attraction and desire.
Pragma: Long-standing commitment. ‘Standing in love’ as opposed to ‘falling in love.’
And while those are useful as concepts and discussions, how the hell do we use these in modern expression? Typing in ‘I Love You’ into google translate into Greek returns: “Se agapó”, which implies the general ‘agapé’ form of love. And for most uses, that might be appropriate. But when i say “I love you” to someone, how do I best nuance that in the way I intend and avoid ambiguity?
I think the best thing, for now, is to always add context to the use of “love” when speaking or writing. Try to link it to specific things, which gives it specific context. Instead of just saying “I love you” try:
“I love how well we get along”
“I love how you make me laugh” or “I love how you enjoy my terrible puns”
“I love how comfortable i am around you,“ or “I love that you tell me what you really think and feel”
We'll see how that goes as a start.
It's difficult, at least for me, not to confuse the intent behind someone's use of the word 'love,' and that's partly from my own attention-starved past and the results of decades of cultural confusing of the signals.
So I've started a little digging, linguistically, into other languages and how maybe we can adapt and grow our vocabulary. After all, English is notorious for not just borrowing words and phrases from other languages, but actively plundering other cultures for their syntactic sugar and spice.
This will likely be the first in a series of posts. I'll try to keep them all tagged together.
So first up: ancient Greek (with some Latin thrown in). Some of these have evolved some from their original use, so don’t blame me if that ancient Greek philosopher you’ve stolen in time doesn’t agree with these meanings:
Agape:’selfless love’ or a generalized love of all. The Latin word ‘caritas’ is where we get ‘charity’ from so this also implies empathy and humanitarian love of all.
Philia: Deep friendship or Comradeship for those with similar experiences.
Philautia: Love of self.
Storgé: Parental love of child.
Ludus: Love of fun or play. This is where we get the word ‘ludic’
Erotas: Physical attraction and desire.
Pragma: Long-standing commitment. ‘Standing in love’ as opposed to ‘falling in love.’
And while those are useful as concepts and discussions, how the hell do we use these in modern expression? Typing in ‘I Love You’ into google translate into Greek returns: “Se agapó”, which implies the general ‘agapé’ form of love. And for most uses, that might be appropriate. But when i say “I love you” to someone, how do I best nuance that in the way I intend and avoid ambiguity?
I think the best thing, for now, is to always add context to the use of “love” when speaking or writing. Try to link it to specific things, which gives it specific context. Instead of just saying “I love you” try:
“I love how well we get along”
“I love how you make me laugh” or “I love how you enjoy my terrible puns”
“I love how comfortable i am around you,“ or “I love that you tell me what you really think and feel”
We'll see how that goes as a start.
